Inappropriate Cocktails

Deciding to partake in the carnal craving, a friend and I checked out a newer burger joint in our hood. Good eats but that’s not the focus of this post. Our focus is the caramel apple martinis the girl at the table behind us was slugging down. In case I was typing too fast, let me repeat; CARAMEL.APPLE.MARTINIS.

Let us pause to throw up in our mouths.

Why, you ask, does this girls drink have anything to do with BMAC? Let us file this one under the “Unthoughtful” category.

Unthoughtful in that:

1. It’s a BURGER joint. BURGER. Beer, Bourbon, Whiskey and Soda would all be apppropriate beverages to consume while eating a BURGER. Hell, if it was a fancy burger, order some wine. NOT, a Caramel Apple Martini, much less two. Maybe even three. I lost count while I was eating.

2. What does it feel like to your body trying to process the combination of beef, bun, fries and sugar, sugar and more sugar. I mean, I go into a meat coma fairly quickly if I decide to eat a whole burger, much less dump 2 cups of sugar down my throat.

3. You didn’t have to watch her “drink” it. Call me naive (I have PROUDLY, NEVER ordered a Caramel Apple Martini), but this drink had a caramel swirl all up and down the interior of the martini glass. So by the time most of the green stuff was consumed, she was practically inhaling the glass to get the caramel off and into her mouth. Please file that under “things I don’t want to watch while eating my dinner.” I’d rather see a geriatric remove his or her fake teeth and gum their meal then watch the retrievals of the remains of caramel ever again.

Ladies, if you do in fact order this drink, we’ll have a talk about that later, but NEVER, NEVER order it while having a burger. Men, if your lady is subject to this kind of behavior, it might be time for the two of you to sit down and have a talk.

Power to the people.

Cheers.